wakethedragon | Five. The Dragon's Dress

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Five. The Dragon's Dress

{Written, because he's decided he won't dignify this latest atrocity with the pressing of the voice transmission button, which is the only one he knows. Enjoy his elegant, royal script.]

Thank you, Admiral, for the gown.

If I wanted my sister's face, I would have cut it off of her myself.

I wonder if the ~~Stark~~ girl's potion would have even worked. It probably would have turned me into a toad.

I must say, I can't see how trussing me up like a village milkmaid and giving me my sister's face is supposed to win me back my kingdom, bastard.

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Somehow, I doubt reclaiming your kingdom is the admiral's intention.

I don't care what his intention is.

You turned into your sister?

[Argh.]

I looked like the bitch, but I was some sort of poor woe-is-me maiden living in a shack.

I bought a love potion.

[He'll let that bitch comment slide.] Sorry to hear that.

[snort] who were you hoping to marry?

Someone rich. She wasn't very particular.

[chuckle] deep down I'm sure love was a part of it.

[Also written, in small, slightly sloppy writing. It's been a while since she's been able to practice. :|]

I'm not a Stark, and if you don't cross that out, I will turn you into a toad.

Oh? Not a Stark? Since when?

Cross it out!

No.

I can make you.

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Think he was trying to tell you something?

What could he possibly be trying to tell me?

I doubt even the Admiral would want you to have your kingdom when you threaten to cut your own sister's face off. [....Says the man who tried to blow up the universe. And regularly makes death threats.]

I simply said if I wanted my sister's face, I would have taken it for myself.

It's still a barbaric thing to say.

Besides, that's what plastic surgery is for. [If you aren't awesome and a Time Lord and can just regenerate, that is.] Though it would hardly surprise me if the Doctor's of your country wouldn't know how to do that.

Then it's fitting, because she is a barbarian.

[Plastic surgery? Doctors? Wut.]

The Faceless Men can change their faces at will. Their Guild was founded in the volcanic slave mines of Valyria.

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Well, there have been worse plans for that sort of thing...

Have there?

Of course. Some of them may have even worked.

[Jon doesn't get it either, let's be real.]

It is perhaps meant to teach you a lesson.

How to be a woman? How to be a gold digger? [New word he learned from Hoffman.]

How to buy a love potion?

If it was meant to teach me how to be poor, I've already had those lessons.

[How does this port have anything to do with digging for gold?]

You said you looked like your sister. Perhaps it has something to do with her.

My sister.

I did everything for her, and she betrayed me.

She would have been dead or worse if it wasn't for me.

Do you know how helpless an infant child is? Do you know, Jon Snow?